Unconditionally

Dear 14 year old self,

I want you to know that you are loved unconditionally. You may not feel like you are good enough, or that you aren't pleasing everyone all the time, but that is not your task. Your Father in heaven has planned you from the beginning. You are captivating to Him. And His opinion is really the only one that matters. You may not feel seen, heard, understood, or important, but you are. The Lord sees, hears, understands, and longs to let you know how important you are to Him. You have immeasurable value and worth to Him. Stop seeking attention from boys that you admire. You cannot find sustenance from broken cisterns. Seek everything you need from the Lord, because He provides everything you will ever need. He will fulfill you if you seek Him instead of people who tend to become idols in your eyes. He will never disappoint, never abandon, never stop loving, and never forget you. You are on the front of His mind and your name is written on the palm of His hand.

I encourage you to love yourself. You are not able to fully love another until you are comfortable within yourself. You and God are the only ones on your journey. Learn to love yourself, then learn to like yourself. Know that you are human and will make mistakes, but have grace for yourself when you do things that disappoint. Embrace the way God has made you. Honor yourself by being honest with your feelings and emotions. They are there for a reason, listen to them. Don't allow other people's opinion of you override your own opinion of yourself. Don't take responsibility of another person's feelings, allow them to do that. Take care of the things YOU are responsible for- your thoughts, feelings, emotions, actions, decisions, health, and growth.

Don't be afraid to say "no" and in turn potentially disappoint someone. Be true to yourself and don't worry about disappointing others. If you are true to yourself and honest in your answers, others will respect you and they will be able to deal with their own disappointment. Don't be afraid to grieve, for it is in the grief that you grow closer to Jesus in His suffering. Don't be afraid to hurt. Feel it, acknowledge the pain, and release it into your comforting Father's hands. He will heal your heart and fulfill all your desires.

Find confidence and security in the Lord's love. He is always Faithful and will always come through for you.

I love you--your older self.

He doesn't want you to be anyone else.

Hey girl, it's me - you at twenty-five years old. Crazy right? If it were possible to meet face to face right now, you'd probably think I have it all together, and that is because I know how you think. I've dropped 25 lbs. Since you last saw me, your boobs FINALLY came in, we have a very sweet boyfriend, a car, an education, a job, and our family isn't THAT crazy after all. Things seem to have gone pretty smoothly - on the surface. You don't realize this now, but even when things seem to be perfect on the outside, sometimes they're not. I'd like to clue you in on a few things that I know about you, things that you might want to think about changing.

You are very sweet and thoughtful. You are always taking care of other people, making other people feel good about themselves, and making the world a brighter place. These are wonderful qualities - but you need to be aware that sometimes these qualities can be weaknesses.

When I was your age, I thought I was doing pretty well. I was a "good Christian." I put other people’s needs first. I tried to always do the right thing, so that no one would have cause to be angry with me. If anyone was hurting, I tried to make it better. I was very encouraging and supportive to other people. But if I was hurting, I couldn't admit it to anyone. I pretended that everything was completely normal. It was so embarrassing to admit that something was wrong. Even when I would go to the doctor, they would ask, "well how are you feeling?" and I'd say, "oh, fine, how are you?" without even thinking about it. I was so good at faking it. When it would have made me feel so much better to talk to someone else and be encouraged by them, I could not do it. It was my gift to be encouraging and uplifting to everyone else – but I would rather die than open up to someone else and tell them that I was sad or lonely or having a hard time.

Not only was I not taking care of my own needs, but I was also entirely too dependent on the approval of others. My friends didn’t like me the way I was, so I pretended to be like them. People at church expected me to act a certain way, dress a certain way, and be a certain way, and so I pretended to be person they wanted me to be. The guy I was dating in high school wanted me to be interested in the same things he was interested in, and I pretended to be interested in those things. I pretended to the point where I actually THOUGHT I was all of those things. I thought I was like my friends, I thought I was the person the people at church thought I was. I thought I liked the same things my boyfriend liked. I was afraid people wouldn’t like me if I wasn’t the way they expected me to be. So even if I didn’t agree with it or enjoy it, I became the person I thought everyone else wanted me to be. I found that I was only truly being myself when I was at home with my family.

This went on for years and years, and when I graduated high school, it began to spiral out of control. I began to exhibit early signs of depression. I cried all the time, and felt sad and I didn’t know why. I would go home from college every weekend just to regroup. I couldn’t be myself away from my family. That was the only place I knew who I was. But every Sunday I had to go back to school. It was terrible. I would wake up in the morning, and pick up my Bible and pray that Jesus would come back that day, because there was no way I was going to make it any further than that one day. I remember the song "In Christ Alone" was really big at that time, and we would sing it in chapel a lot, and I could not sing that line, "till he returns or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I stand," without crying because that line was my life. He carried me during that time. I honestly would not be here, if not for him. Keep your faith strong, because I really needed it then. I carried my Bible everywhere. I would read it, pray, and sometimes just clutch it in my hand, to let myself know that he was there.

I came home after two years – did you catch that? I was so worried about disappointing people (by coming home from college), that It took me TWO YEARS to decide to come home. That's sad. It took me three years after THAT to figure out why I was so depressed, and to get everything sorted out. Those 25 lbs. you were so impressed that I lost? - I lost them within a few months time, simply because I couldn't eat. Now that's crazy -- this from the girl whose boyfriend (instead of a dozen roses) brings her a dozen chocolate covered donuts on date night -- let me tell you, me not eating, now that's crazy. But that's how it was. I wasn't being me, because I did not know how. It was very hard, and there was a time I even thought about suicide, simply because I didn't think I could make it any more. But there's a happy ending to our story. God was always there - he put special people in my life to help me (and I wonder if one of them wasn't an actual angel) and things got better. I've had two and half years of counseling (it's not just for crazy people - it actually helped a lot, I promise), my family and my boyfriend were very supportive, and now I can say that I have learned how to be myself. And boy does it feel great to be myself. I have found that it's actually easier to serve God and other people when you're yourself - strange isn't it?

You can avoid all this, and it's very simple. God made you just the way you are, and he loves you. He doesn’t want you to be anyone else. If your friends don’t like you the way God made you, then get new ones. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. There’s no shame in admitting that you need help. We’re all human. And most of the time, there’s someone out there struggling with the exact same thing you’re struggling with. I don't regret any of my story -- I actually am very thankful to have had this experience, so that I can help other people avoid it. Funny how God works sometimes, eh? He's pretty amazing...

Just be brave.

Dear 7th Grade Self,

No, sweetheart, they are not your friends.

They might have been, once upon a time, but this is not how friends behave, this is not what friends are like. Give it up; let go. It’s better without them.

I know you miss that close, tight group you used to have with them. But it just doesn’t exist any longer. These are the same girls, but sixth grade did something to them that it didn’t do to you. Who knows why or what. They got mean or hard or self-conscious. Something terrible at home - a divorce or a bullying older brother; a dad that doesn’t care about what happens to them; a mom who starts every morning belittling or fighting. Whatever did it; it’s already done. They think the only way to look good, to feel better, is to make others look bad, make others feel worse.

It’s not wrong for you to not be comfortable with them anymore; it’s not wrong to want it to be different.

But here’s the thing: It won’t go back to how it was. No matter how long you stick it out with them, how many times you listen to them gossip, how many seats they end up saving for you, how may lunches you guys ridicule each other through - no matter how long you keep this up, it won’t be the way it was. It won’t be as good, or as right, or as close. They won’t be your friends.

They’re already not your friends.

Think about it. There’s no real reason they won’t save you a seat in first period. There’s no real reason they trash talk the guy you like. There’s no real reason for the whole group to go silent when you walk in a room.

No real reason. This is just how girls can be.

But the good news is - not all girls are like this. Not all girls want to see you cry. Not all girls form a little clique and ignore anyone who doesn’t quite fit.

Some girls want friends just like you want friends.

You’ll find them. You’ve already found them. You know who they are; you know that they’re fun, that they joke and laugh and tease and hang out on Fridays. You’ve seen them pass notes to each other in class about silly, goofy stuff. You’ve seen them doodle on each other’s shoes and arms; you’ve listened to them moan about pre-algebra homework. You know them. They’re right there, in front of you.

I know that this is so hard. To cut ties with the girls you thought were your friends, who did, in fact, use to be your friends. I know that it’s scary to think that you might drift around 7th grade without someone, without belonging, never fitting in. But that’s not what happens. That won’t happen.

God is looking out for you; He’s got something in mind. But He needs you to step out on faith, to take the leap into what looks like a vacuum. He will catch you. He will. He will. He is faithful.

Another thing about the way God works. See, what He does for you might sometimes not look like what you want. Or even need. It might look like a paltry imitation, a shadow of the great group of friends you had once. These new friends that God has in mind for you? Yeah, at first glance, they don’t look like the friends you have.

You know the girls I mean, the girls who will be your friends; you’ve already seen them in homeroom. They’re not as put together maybe; they’re wearing last year’s boots instead of this year’s. They do hang out with a couple of guys in band class, and yeah, one of the girls has a retainer she has to wear that gives her a kind of lisp. But guess what? It’s so much more fun when you don’t have to try so hard to be liked, when you fit in with a group of girls who don’t care if your shoes are cool or if this is a good hair day. It’s so much more honest, and real, and relaxing, and right when the friends you surround yourself with just love you for you.

God has plans for you; He needs you to be willing to go along with Him, to ride it out. Because the moment that you step away from those mean girls and sit down at the other end of the lunch table - that’s the moment God starts working through you.

When He does that, there’s no stopping the blessings you get from Him. The girl with the retainer? She teaches you a cool trick to help memorize the poem you have to recite in front of the class next semester. The girl with the geeky band boyfriend? (Yeah, he plays the trombone and gets mad really easily, I know). That girl will be your best friend for the next two years; she’ll get you free tickets to a cool concert and you’ll have her over to spend the night when her stepdad leaves them.

God will be at work in your life. All you have to do, all you need to do, is be brave. Walk past the head of the lunch table and the girls pretending to be stupid to impress the boys, walk past the girl with perfect hair who was new in fifth grade and needed you but doesn’t need you now. Walk past them. Walk to the last table, the one by the trash compactor that stinks. Walk all the way to the end and sit down.

They won’t kick you out. They won’t stare at you like you’re crazy. They won’t stop talking and leave the table in dreadful, judging silence. It’s not a fiery furnace; it’s not a lion’s den.

They’ll ask if you want your orange (no) and if you want to come to the band room after lunch and listen to music (yes). They’ll accept you without question. These people will be your friends. You won’t even miss the others.

In case you couldn’t tell, everything works out. It’s easier than you think. God is bigger than your fears.

Just be brave. Be willing to walk into the flames - they will not touch you.

With hope,
Your Older (Wiser?) Self

Dear Younger Self Project

This post marks the start of a new blog series we're calling the Dear Younger Self Project. The basis of this series is the question "What do you wish you had known in seventh grade?" For the next few weeks, or months, or however long God leads us to do this, you'll be reading anonymous letters that trusted friends and mentors have written to their younger selves. It is our prayer that in reading their self-advice, you will be blessed in a way only God can orchestrate. We're so excited about this new series--God has already been doing amazing things behind the scenes. So, without further ado, the first Dear Younger Self letter:

______

Dear Younger Self (and probably Future Self since this seems to be a lesson I am bound to repeat over and over and over.....again....),

No matter how old you get and no matter what you choose to do in life, there will always be well-meaning people who want to offer you advice....from dating advice, to what you should do with your life, to where you should go to college, to who you should or should not marry, to when and how you should have your children (YES people do actually offer opinions on this...crazy, I know!), etc. Here's the thing though, no matter how successful they are, no matter how well educated they may be, no matter how much older they are than you, etc, YOU are the only person qualified to write your life's story because God made YOU the expert on YOU! He gave YOU a unique set of gifts and sent YOU out on a real life “Choose Your Own Adventure” type of story!

No matter what choices you make, your story is going to be one of those great novels that keeps people on the edge of their seats, not some trivial piece of formula fiction at best destined for tomorrow's compost pile, because life doesn't follow a predictable formula. You can't plug in all of the right variables and come out with the right outcome every time. Each person is different and there are countless variables that you cannot control for across individuals and circumstances. Even if you could, it's not about the last page. It's about the journey that brought you TO the last page...what you learned, how you loved, how you gave, the commitments you made, etc. The problem is that we like formulas. Formulas are safe. There is minimal risk and responsibility on our part for failure and criticism...that's why people write sequels....because they are willing to sacrifice the potential of creating something truly great for the laurels and accolades of others.

That's the real secret: In order to be able to write YOUR story from YOUR heart and not what you THINK other people want to read, you have to be willing to live with criticism. Criticism is never easy to hear, especially when it comes out of ignorance and thoughtlessness. However, God can use all things for good, and sometimes He uses these often unkind words to hone your heart into the heart of a lion. At the center of every woman who has a gentle and quiet spirit, there must exist the heart of a lion, that is willing to courageously stand firm and hold fast to what she believes is right...no matter what. Otherwise, she risks becoming a doormat. At some point, you have to recognize that it is well worth the risk of failure and criticism to go out and live the life God created YOU to live and that the only true measure of your success is when you are measuring it against YOUR rubric and not someone else's.

"God doesn't want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible." 2 Timothy 1:7 (The Message)

Not a fan.

Hi everyone! It's been quite a while since Esther and I posted last. Summer and school get in the way of everything so easily, can't they? But that's no excuse. First, I want to explain some of the things I, Ruth, have been going through.

So, I had an amazing summer. However, it ended quite abruptly when I had to get my tonsils out two weeks before school started. Oh my goodness, I never want to re-live those two weeks again! God definitely taught me a lesson on how blessed I am to have my health. But I recovered quickly and my throat is much better now.

When school started, I was instantly bombarded with projects and schedules and volleyball games--pretty much everything you can think of. Praying to God became rare, and I slowly stopped thinking about Him as much as I had in the summer. People have always told me how much easier it is to be on fire for God in the summer than during the school year, but I never understood it until this year.

In the summer, I go to church camps and missions trips and help feed the homeless in the inner city with my youth group. During these excursions, I'm thinking about how amazing God is and how blessed I am to have this kind of environment with other teens to minister to less fortunate people. I'm not stressed out and I don't have the pressure of projects and drama and sports on my mind.

So, I finally "got" what people had been saying when this school year started. I was kind of angry at the world. I didn't want summer to end! I wanted to go back to St. Louis where I'd gone on a mission trip in July, and help the people there. I didn't want to be stuck in a classroom all day. I mean, how can you minister there, right?

Wrong. I've realized that you don't have to be somewhere special to share God's love. You can be anywhere! You just have to allow God to speak through you and fulfill His will through you.

My youth group's fall retreat last weekend epitomized how my relationship with God was headed. Now don't get me wrong, I wasn't going out on the weekends and doing bad things! I just wasn't relying on God as I much as I should have and spending enough time with Him.

We had a guest speaker at the retreat and the theme for the weekend was "Not a Fan." That might confuse you at first (trust me, I was confused too!), but this clever little phrase is referring to how we view God. Are we fans of Him, or true followers? The speaker went on to say that people can be a fan of someone and know everything about that person, but not truly know and have a deep relationship with them.

You can know all the books of the Bible and all the Bible stories, but what about the Creator? Do you know Him? The speaker explained that the Greek word for "know" is yada. In order to yada someone, you have to talk to them daily.

So, I encourage you, crave a relationship with God. Desire to know Him. Want to follow Him. Don't be a fan. Be a follower, and follow God's footsteps.

What's your yada moment??

"Fans may try to follow Jesus out of their own strength, but followers of Jesus are empowered by the Holy Spirit" -Kyle Idelman

Be looking for a new series Esther and I are starting called Letters to Your Younger Self!

Confession #1—I (Esther) am going to be frank with you: often, I don’t want to spend time with God. Sometimes—sadly, more often than not—the last thing I want to do is to pause my self-indulgent activities, sit down, open my Bible, and actively seek the Truth of God’s Word. Nine times out of ten, what I want to do is grab a slip of paper, look down at it, and find a neatly-printed Bible verse across it saying that I’m a wonderful Christian just the way I am, and that a relationship with God doesn’t require any work on my part. Ouch.


Don’t we all want to hear that, at some point in our spiritual lives? I mean, let’s be honest, here. Do you wake up every day of every week with the words, “God, I can’t wait to spend time listening to You today” on your lips?


I sure don’t.


I don’t know about you, but when I wake up, it’s all about me. How late did I want to sleep in, what do I want to do today, what outfit will look best on me tonight, what do I want to eat and drink and say and sing and write? The list is endless, peppered with I’s and me’s and my’s. When I sit down and really look at myself, I come to the very unpleasant conclusion that I am a selfish person.


Confession #2—I don’t want to be writing this post right now. I’d much rather be typing my latest angst-filled fanfic (which, by the way, I can post online and get feedback—i.e. praise—from my readers), or watching Alias with my dad, or delving into one of the 5 books I’ve started reading. The last thing I want to be doing right now is scrawling letters across a page, helping other girls learn how to be beautiful in God’s sight.


And you know why that is? Because I don’t feel very beautiful right now. I feel torn and beaten down, empty and used up, as if I’ve given everything I have to offer away in search of satisfaction—pleasure—for myself. I don’t like what God is trying to tell me, so I’m running away from His voice, trying to drown it out with music and TV and emotions and praise—all from the lips of humans.



I am a very selfish person.



The funny thing is, this post is supposed to be about spending time with God. It’s supposed to give a wonderful analogy of flowers and God’s voice. My vision for this post was to leave you with an image in your head of you as the flower, and God as the Gardener—the Caretaker of the plant leaning down to talk to it, to breathe that life-giving CO2 onto its petals. What am I talking about? Flowers—plants—need carbon dioxide to live. That’s why you’ll hear some people say that people who talk to their plants end up with healthier flowers (or fruits, etc), because, when we talk, we expel carbon dioxide in our breath. So, when I pitched this idea to Ruth, I said that I wanted to make a point about time spent listening to God’s voice being essential to cultivating gentle and quiet spirits. Because it is. It isabsolutely essential.


I still want to make that point. But I want to make it all the more forcefully by giving you myself as an example of what happens when you don’t spend time listening—really listening—to God’s voice.



I said earlier that I felt empty, used up, as if I had nothing to offer God (because I’ve spent it all on seeking to please myself), and therefore was running from Him. I felt a lot like Eve must have, after she ate from the forbidden fruit—I’ve been hiding, because I’ve been afraid. Afraid of disappointing God, of letting Him down. Some part of my mind kept saying, “If He knew that you’d rather be doing anything else but spending time with Him, He’d be so disappointed.” Well, guess what? He does know. And I’ve been pretty ridiculous, telling myself otherwise.


What I want you to come away with is this: I can tell you, from personal, recent experience, that the only way you can gain a gentle and quiet spirit—a spirit full of peace, and love, and joy, and all the other Fruits of the Spirit—is to spend time with God. I don’t mean a twenty-second, meaningless prayer at the start or end of your day, or a mandatory Bible reading in Numbers or Leviticus. No, I mean—and I’m telling myself this as I type—I mean quality time. Intentionally setting aside time in your day—every day—to sit down and listen for God’s voice. Because spending time listening for His voice, drinking in that life-giving carbon dioxide on His breath, is one of the best things you can do in your walk with God.



I’ll be the first to admit it: I’ve been terrible about this lately. I just had my first real quiet time with God for the first time in at least a month. That’s right—a month. And you know what? I feel so much better already. So I want to end my portion of this post with a challenge. A challenge as much for myself as for you.


I, (Ruth) have a confession to make as well. This past week I worked at Memphis Workcamp. Twenty or so churches came together to paint/repair houses in Orange Mound for less fortunate families. Just seeing the people and the shape not only their houses were in, but also their lives, made me stop and think. I am so selfish. And spoiled. But this experience also humbled me. I wake up every morning thinking about myself. I don't have to worry about my next meal, safety, or next paycheck. I am so blessed.



God has blessed me with so many things in my life, and I often forget to thank Him. I often forget to spend time with Him–to get to know Him better. Our God is a jealous God. Recently, I asked my mom how God can be jealous, since jealously is a sin. My mom's explanation made a lot of sense: God's jealousy is righteous. He loves us so much, that He can't stand it when we put other things or people before Him. Today in Sunday school, my teacher also challenged us to write out our vows to God. Since Jesus is the bridegroom and we are the bride. So just like husband and wife, we took time today to write out our promises/vows to God. I thought that was so cool. Try it sometime. Really think about how you want to promise yourself to Christ.



Now back to Esther.



Let’s set aside some time every day of this week and listen for God’s voice. Let’s pause our crazy, often self-centered lives, sit down, open our hearts, and echo the words of Samuel in 1 Samuel 3:10, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”


“…intimacy is both a discipline and a goal—much like humility and prayer and sacrifice, and any of the other disciplines. Our great tendency in this age is to increase our speed, to run faster, even in the Christian life. In the process our walk with God stays shallow, and our tank runs low on fumes. Intimacy offers a full tank of fuel that can only be found by pulling up closer to God, which requires taking necessary time and going to the effort to make that happen.” ~ Charles R. Swindoll, So You Want to Be Like Christ?

Friday night. You’re getting together with a group of your friends over the weekend. You’re standing, hands on hips, surveying the clothes in your closet. Five minutes and a thoroughly chewed lip later, you reach in and pull out a skirt and top. This’ll do, you think, and lay it out on your bed. Barely a minute later, you’re back in the closet, waffling between shirts. You finally decide on the blue one, and head to bed, satisfied.

Saturday morning. You’re standing in front of the mirror, face frowning back at you. One hand is on your hip, the other fiddling with your hair. You’ve finally decided on jeans and a cute top (after about a dozen combinations), and now you’re facing the hair problem. You can’t decide whether to wear it in a ponytail, or leave it down.

Sound familiar? Have you ever found yourself in the endless cycle of this or that, pink or red, skirt or jeans? I (Esther) can’t tell you how much I’ve found myself in this same scenario, expending so much time, energy, and tears on my outward appearance. Jeans or shorts? Skirt or capris? Blue top or red top? Ponytail or French braid? The list goes on and on.

I (Ruth) also find myself in this exact situation. Even though I plan my outfit way ahead of time, I always go back and add some last minute touches, usually ending up in a whole different look. As girls, we are our biggest critics. No one else knows our little, secret flaws that we spend so much time trying to cover up... except God. When I am getting ready for school in the mornings, I stand in the front of the mirror criticizing myself. Why? Well, I really think that's just our nature. We are unsatisfied. But guess Who is perfectly satisfied with our appearance? No one but the Creator of the Universe! He wouldn't have spent the time creating us if He was not going to be happy with the outcome. I mean come on, God knows everything, right? So He knew everything about us before He spoke us into being. So in the mornings, when I have only slept for a mere six hours, I look into the mirror and say, "God thinks I am beautiful, and that's all that matters."

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?” (Matthew 6:28-30)

O you of little faith. If Jesus said those words to His disciples, who followed Him everywhere for three years, and listened to every word that fell from His lips, what would He say to me? What would He say to you? Maybe something like, “Why do you spend so much time redoing your make-up?” Or, “You were so worried about what your friends thought of your new dress that you missed the beautiful sunset I painted just for you.” Maybe, “Won’t you listen? Won’t you set aside concerns for your outward beauty just long enough to see that field of wildflowers waving to you? That’s Me! I’m trying to tell you that I love you, that I made you so beautiful that I can’t take My eyes off you. Please let Me in so I can show everyone else how beautiful I’ve made you.”

Well, guess what? That is what He’s saying to you! He may not be whispering those exact words in your ear, but He’s definitely there, knocking on the door to your heart, longing for you to take your eyes off your reflection long enough to read His words, to hear His voice calling to you, asking you to let Him sweep you off your feet and show you the beauty He’s bestowed upon you.

Jesus used the perfect example in Matthew: flowers. Have you ever stopped to look at a field of wildflowers? Or a vase of daisies, or a bouquet of roses? Flowers are some of God’s most beautiful creations. Why else would we take dozens of pictures of them, give them to those we love, and carry them in our weddings? Do you think they spend hours slaving over their appearance, setting the tilt of their petals just so, or the hue of their color that perfect shade of vivid? No! Nothing could be further from the truth. Instead, they exist solely because they were created to be beautiful. To bring pleasure to God’s children—to you—and to teach us valuable lessons.

In our last post, we told the story of a king and a peasant girl, a tale of his love for her and the lengths he went to win her heart. We told of the way the girl’s inner beauty shone through her peasant’s rags and worker’s dirt, and how it served to captivate the king’s heart, so much so that he humbled himself to village life in order to be close to her. In the hopes of winning her heart, he took on the very nature of a servant, so that he might be near her. In this post, we wanted to give you a deeper look at inner beauty. What is beautiful—what does it mean? Why is inner beauty so important? Do people even notice? Do guys pay attention to it? Why is it so captivating? These are all questions we hope you’ll find the answers to in this post. A dear friend of ours, Randi, agreed to share her thoughts on these questions, and we hope you’ll take what she’s said to heart. We know God has something to say to you today, as you read this post. Please open your heart to His words as He speaks through her honest, beautiful words. He longs to show the most precious parts of His heart to you; all you have to do is ask.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What does the word beautiful mean to you?

Beautiful is as much a feeling as it is a physical trait. Beautiful is a smile that makes you feel special or appreciated. Beautiful is a teenage boy showing his kindness and compassion by dropping to his knees to give his time and attention to a little boy who craves it. Beautiful is the teenage girl who leaves the popular table at lunch to go sit by the girl who is feeling invisible. Beautiful is the sibling who shaves their head because their brother/sister has lost theirs due to chemotherapy. Beautiful is when my five year old wants to stop and give the homeless man on the side of the road his donut he had been looking forward to for days. Beautiful is the girl who doesn’t feel the need to talk about others just to make herself feel better. Beautiful is the teenager who shows courage by getting up in front of all their friends and sharing their weaknesses. Beautiful is the person who doesn’t judge the woman not living the way she should, but rather loves her and helps her remove the sin. Beautiful is the guy who hangs out with the unpopular kid knowing it will get him talked about. Beautiful is the person who always has compassion for the underdog and who is constantly trying to build others up. Beautiful is the person who has the confidence to stand up for what and who they believe in. Beautiful is not just a physical trait. Beautiful is a feeling.

What do you think is the best way for girls to display their beauty?

S O A P B O X ……..Cason and I were one of the first of our group of friends to get married. Most of his friends were still single and had no intentions of changing their status anytime soon. When they would all come over to our house, I would hear them talking about girls. The one thing I will always remember was how much they were attracted to the confident girls. Not the stuck up or cocky girls, but the ones who knew who they were and were not going to change that for anyone, especially not a boy. They always seemed to be stuck on the girl that made them work for her attention. It was crazy because some of the most popular guys would get stuck on a girl that was not necessarily the best looking. But I saw why the boys liked them when they would come hang out. They were always the coolest girls. After a while it was like a spotlight was pointing out all of their beautiful features. Confidence is something that the devil is always trying to crush. He wants you to feel like you are not good enough. He wants you to feel like you need that guy to make you who you want to be. Lack of confidence makes you talk about other girls badly. If you were confident, then you wouldn’t feel the need to knock someone else down to make yourself look better. If you were more confident, you wouldn’t feel that you have to do those things with that guy so he doesn’t leave you for someone who will. If you were more confident, you wouldn’t worry about what hanging out or being friends with the unpopular might do to your popularity status. If you were more confident, when that huge pimple attacked your face you wouldn’t hide out all day trying to avoid everyone. Instead you would smile bigger and at everyone taking the attention off your pimple and putting it on how friendly you are and what a great smile you have. Having more confidence will also allow you to focus on the good in others and help them see it as well. Some people are born with a beautiful face and they don’t need to do anything but stand still for their beauty to be noticed. As for the rest of us, we have been born with a face that we can either add to and make ourselves appear attractive or take away from and make ourselves unattractive. The face doesn’t make the person beautiful, the person makes the face beautiful. Cheesy but true.Want to know how to display your beauty? Show all the goodness, kindness, mercy, love and compassion that dwells inside of you. Have confidence in who you are and remind yourself that if you don’t think you’re worth it, then neither will the ones you hope to attract.

Will it even make a difference – will guys view us differently if we work on inward beauty?

YES!!!!!! Guys want to find the best of both worlds. They want someone they are attracted to, but they want more than just a pretty face. They want someone who inspires them to be the best version of themselves. Someone who encourages them to have courage, who is proud of them for the man they are even with all of their short comings, who makes them laugh, someone who they can act stupid with, someone who makes them feel strong. They want someone who respects them, who is compassionate and kind, who is also respected by others, who doesn’t bring on drama. They want someone who listens to them and actually cares what they have to say and what they think. They want someone who is intelligent enough to have a real conversation. They actually really want someone who respects herself enough to not let other guys touch her. They want her to be confident. Guys have always wanted the total package. Guys were not made to be content with just enough to get by with. They were made to conquer, seize, and strive for the best. Why would they be any different with the qualities they are looking for in a girlfriend/wife? They want it all. The world focuses a lot on outward beauty. Why wouldn’t it, according to Ezekiel 28:12 -17. Satan was supposedly the most beautiful thing there was next to God. It was even said that his beauty went to his head, and that was what caused his fall. So of course he would make outward beauty of great importance in this world. But don’t forget that God created us in His image and He made us need more than just superficial beauty. He made us to need the total package. In college there was this girl that ALL the most popular, attractive guys in the school liked. She had all of them fawning over her. I wanted to get a look at this girl who had these guys wishing they could date her. When someone pointed her out to me I thought I had the wrong person. She was nothing near beautiful. She was not ugly, but she would not have gotten a second glance from anyone passing her in the streets. She was nothing more than ordinary, but she had to be something special to have all of these guys hanging on her every word. I didn’t get it until she became my teammate. She was AMAZING! She had to be one of the nicest people I have and will ever meet. She loved God with all her heart. She didn’t preach to anyone, she just let it be known by how she lived. She was SOOOO much fun to hang out with. I think that she was asked to every single function that any of the fraternities held. I never heard her talk about anyone unkindly, she was a hard worker, not just on our team but also in the classroom and on any committee that she ever signed up to help with. She was dependable, trust worthy, funny, outgoing, but quiet in a way that made her a good listener able to carry on a conversation. She was super intelligent, very athletic, well dressed, and one last thing…she had never kissed anyone. All of those boys who were CRAZY about her had most definitely been kissed and if anything were experts. They could have kissed almost any girl they wanted, but they all wanted her. After getting to know her it all made sense. Every guy wanted to be with her and every girl wanted to be her! I learned so much from this girl and have so much respect for her. She was one of the most beautiful people I have ever known. There is nothing about her that is ordinary. She is as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside. I can’t for the life of me figure out how I ever saw her as ordinary and average. After becoming her friend, I decided I wanted to be more like her. I started working on who I was on the inside and after three months of changing my focus from outer to inner, I met Cason and became someone’s total package. So again yes, it makes a difference. Not only will guys notice and view you differently, everyone will view you differently. Matthew 10:19-20

*Special thanks to Randi for the incredible amounts of time and energy she put into these answers. You're amazing, and we love you so much!

Captivating

So…we’ve told you our stories, of God’s turning ashes into beauty, winter into a blazing glory, and death into eternal life. We’ve told you how “the testing of your faith produces endurance” (James 1:3), and how we, as teen girls, have experienced that ourselves, in our own lives.

We said in our first post that our mission was to show girls that they are all beautiful in God’s eyes, and to help them learn the true meaning of beauty. We talked about “the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit” (1 Peter 3:3-4), and the value God places on our inner beauty. We also talked about the fact—yes, fact—that God sees every one of us—every one—as beautiful. But what we haven’t really talked about it how we’re beautiful.

*************************************************************

How does God see us? A few weeks ago, we had a guest preacher come to our church. In his sermon, he told us a story about a king. I’d like to tell it to you now. (Of course, the writer in me will flesh the story out in places, but in all important areas, it’s the same.)

Once, a king left his palace on business, traveling with his royal entourage. His being a king, he traveled in relative comfort, and received a joyful welcome in every town and village through which he passed. He was a benevolent king, kind and compassionate to his subjects. People who saw him instantly knew him for his rich silken robes and heavy golden crown. All who served him loved him, for they knew his heart and the depth of his love for them.

The king’s journey was long and often tedious, despite his royal advantages, and so, as he passed through a small village, he called for a halt. Many of his bodyguard wondered why he had stopped them here, in this poor village of peasants, instead of in a richer, more refined town a few hours down the road. But instead of questioning their king, they simply nodded and went about preparing camp.

The king, though tired, was curious about the village’s residents, and went to explore the square. This being a small, poor community, the square consisted of a well and a few rusty watering troughs. Still, the king stood in the shadows of the bakery and watched as the women of the village came to draw water.

He hadn’t stood there but a minute when a young woman emerged from a hut and crossed the dusty ground to the well. She was young, no more than sixteen or seventeen, but she already possessed great physical beauty. Even dressed in her threadbare brown tunic and peasant’s skirt, she was breathtaking.

Still, her physical beauty was not what captured the king’s attention.

As she walked across the dusty square, the girl carried herself in a way that bespoke love and gentleness, beauty and respect. Her smile came easily and often to her lips, and she stopped to talk to every person she passed by. As she worked her way to the well, the king noticed that she left behind a trail of smiling faces and skipping feet. Signs of a gentle, caring spirit. He found himself enraptured with this inward beauty.

All too soon, the girl drew her water and returned to her home, disappearing from his view. In a daze, the king walked back to his camp. All that night, and on into the next day, he couldn’t stop thinking of the girl and her beautiful spirit. When he returned to his palace weeks later and still could think of nothing else, he knew that she was far more than a passing fancy.

Summoning his most trusted advisors, the king told them of the girl and her mysterious, enchanting beauty. They told him that he should send for her at once, and take her as his wife. He was the king, after all. He could do such a thing and no one could argue with him. But the king shook his head. “No,” he said. “She is far too beautiful for that. I must marry her like any other man would. I must win her heart.”

And so, leaving his closest friend in charge of the kingdom, he clothed himself in peasant garb and set out on foot for the village. It took him many arduous weeks, and more than once he went without food. At night, he slept on the harsh, rocky ground, and woke stiff and aching. But at last he made it.

Ragged and sore from his long journey, the king stumbled to the nearest hut and begged for a place to sleep. The blacksmith, for that was who he was, gladly opened his home to him, thinking him a weary traveler in need of refuge. Little did he know that he housed a king that night.

The next day, the king rose and went about looking for work. He soon found it in the stables, mucking out stalls and caring for the village’s livestock. He found the work difficult, but rewarding. And he was near the one he loved.

For three long years, the king toiled, earning his keep like every other peasant in the village. His back ached, and his hands blistered and callused, but to him it was worth it. For when he wasn’t working, he was wooing the heart of his beloved, courting her like the peasant boys of the village.

At the end of his third year in the village, the king knew it was time for him to return. He went to the one he loved and, kneeling at her feet, asked her to marry him. Joyfully, she consented, and ran to tell her family the news. It was only after they were wed that the king revealed his true identity.

Confused, the girl asked, “Why did you do it? Why did you lower yourself to my level in order to win my heart? Why not just take me as your wife?”

Slowly, softly, the king drew her into his arms and kissed her. Then, in a voice so soft she could barely hear it, he said, “I loved you too much.”

*************************************************************

So, how does God see us? He sees us as the king in the story saw the peasant girl. We aren't queens draped in all the finery wealth can offer. Often times, we're just like that peasant girl--dirty, dusty, and weary to the bone from all the work we do. We're dressed in rags, totally unfit to become the bride of the One True King. But you know what? God looks past that. He ignores the grit, the rags, the filth of human life, and looks deep into our hearts, longing to touch that place that no man can ever touch--the part that belongs solely to Him. He, as our King, is enraptured with our beauty.

He looks at you and sees someone uniquely beautiful, someone no one else can be! He is the King in the story--so in love with you that He'll leave His kingdom in peasant's clothes just to find you and win your heart. Song of Songs 4:7 says, "You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way" (NLT). He is the Great Romancer, headlong in love with you, yearning to sweep you into His arms and sing His unending song of love to you. He created you, and He made no mistake in that creation. You are just the way He planned you to be. He created you and is in love with you.

"You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes" (Song of Songs 4:9, ESV).

Do you realize that? Do you grasp the full meaning of that verse? He loves you. You are all beautiful to Him. God sees you as captivating, unable to forget. He can't walk away from you and return to His kingdom like nothing ever happened. That's how He sees you. Don't ever forget it.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue" (Proverbs 31:25-26).

Esther's Story

If I had to title this post anything other than “Esther’s Story,” I’d have to go with “The Big Picture.” Here’s why:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’m a summer baby. Lazy days, zero schoolwork, and gorgeous warmth do wonders for my spirits. Swathes of golden sunshine draping my room, the sweet touch of water on my skin, the giddy relief of realizing my next Latin class isn’t until mid-August—mm, I shiver with delight. For me, summer is a time when I can let go and let God, as some people like to say. It’s a time when fears pale, comfort zones shatter, and the Lord’s beauty steals my breath away.

The summer of 2010 was no exception. My friends became my siblings through baptism, my heart swelled with the presence of God, and my faith soared to new heights. It was truly amazing. At church camp, God breathed new life into the words of 2nd Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”

What weakness? you ask. I’m terrified of public speaking. And yet, halfway through camp, I gave my testimony.

Like I said—it was truly amazing. Up until a few years ago, I wouldn’t even talk in Bible class. Reading a verse aloud nearly made me panic. That’s how scared I was. And yet, God used my weakness, my fear, to manifest His power all the more greatly. I experienced the exhilaration of God’s power in me! It was all God. And that was wondrous.

Needless to say, I entered the school year on a major spiritual high. I felt more alive and me than I ever had in my life. For several weeks after summer ended, it seemed as if I saw God in everything!

But that changed. The stresses of school and friends and growing up sank their claws into my heart, and I couldn’t shake them loose. I slacked off on reading my Bible. I turned to a hundred different things for comfort—writing, TV, music, books—all in search of the peace I yearned after in my heart.

Before long, I was exhausted, drained from school, piano, TV, and worry. Nothing seemed to go right, and everything irritated me. I was a barrel of gunpowder waiting to explode. And all the while, I kept blaming God.

“God, why’d you give me such an annoying family? God, why’s my school have to be so hard? God, what’d I do to deserve this punishment? Why can’t You make everything right?”

Well, all this kept building inside me, all the way through last semester and into the New Year. Then, in January, I went to a girls’ conference. Incidentally, it was the same girls’ conference that Ruth mentioned in her story (see last post). The conference was truly life-changing—I expected nothing less, having attended the past 2 years. We talked about “The Big Picture”—understanding that we are God’s masterpieces, and that He had prepared amazing things for us to do. No matter our ages, looks, backgrounds, or stories.

In one of our classes, the teacher referenced Psalm 55:22, “Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.” Her point was simply this: Just because we are Christians doesn’t mean that we’ll never feel the ground tremble. Yes, the mountains may shake and the seas roar, but God will never abandon us. He’ll be there with us, through the good and especially the bad. He is a God of comfort, as one of my dear friends pointed out, and how can He comfort us in times of happiness and perfection? We “feel the ground tremble” for a reason. We endure pain and loss and frustration in order to draw closer to Him, to mature in our faith, and, ultimately, to become the people He created us to be.

Think of Joseph. This is something else we talked about at the conference. He had 11 brothers, and 10 of them turned against him, threw him into a well, and sold him into slavery. He lost his freedom, endured false accusations, and spent years in jail for something he didn’t do. Sounds pretty horrible, doesn’t it? But guess what? God was with him. He remembered Joseph, and elevated him above all of Egypt, second only to Pharaoh. Because of Joseph’s trusting, willing heart, God used Him to save Egypt and the surrounding countries from a terrible famine. Joseph’s brothers—the very ones who had sold him into slavery—bowed at his feet and feared death. But you know what Joseph said? “And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you…So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God” (Genesis 45:5,8).

WOW! I’d heard the story of Joseph dozens of times, but never before had it come alive like it did that day at the girls’ conference. If God could take a slave and prisoner and turn him into the second greatest man in all of Egypt, imagine what He can do with you!!!

This is how I felt listening to the teachers and keynote speaker at the girls’ conference. I felt God moving in me, speaking to me. Telling me to trust Him and follow Him. To offer Him a willing heart. The words of my life verse, Esther 4:14, came alive to me all over again: “And who knows but that you have come into royal position for such a time as this?”

So, I don’t know how God is going to use my troubles and stresses to change lives. I don’t know what good is going to come of this, or what amazing thing He has planned. But I do know this: as long as I have a willing heart, anything’s possible.

I know winter is tough. It’s long, and dull, and stressful to the breaking point. So often we forget that, without winter, we’d have no spring.

Spring is coming. The season of life and joy and beauty is on its way. It may seem like forever away…but it’s on the way. In the meantime, consider the words of God in Isaiah 28:28—“Grain must be ground to make bread; so one does not go on threshing it forever.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, there you go. Ruth and Esther's stories are different, yet quite similar. They both symbolize that your faith in the winter can be just as prominent as in the summer. Winter exemplifies the sweet promise of spring. Thus, those cold, dreary days can be a breathtaking experience, only if you allow The Photographer to take a beautiful picture.

*A special thank you to our favorite Giant's fan who has helped us through this challenging, yet beautiful season of winter. :)

Ruth's Story

Most, if not all, of us would take summer over winter any day. I mean, be honest--summer's the best. No school, lazy days, golden sunshine--the perfect blend of beauty, right? Of course. And winter...well, we all know what winter's like. Long, gray, dull--like a blank slate without hope of change. And don't forget the school. That's the worst of it. If you're anything like me, school just sucks the life out of you.



But guess what? Over the next week, we, Ruth and Esther, are going to share our stories with you. Stories of how God has taken this dull, dead winter and transformed it into a kaleidoscope of wonder, beauty, and awe. So open up your eyes and soften your hearts. God's about to speak to you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Summer and fall are my two favorite seasons. Everything is vibrant and colorful, and relaxing outside in seventy-degree weather is the best. And summer means church camp. And church camp…well, that means God. Especially this summer.



On June 25, 2010, I was baptized at my church camp. It was amazing. I can’t really explain the feeling—it’s just something you have to feel for yourself. But breathtaking is a good word for it, I guess. I’d never felt so in love with God until that week. He revealed Himself to me and that’s when I knew—I had to get baptized.

So, for the rest of the summer I was on a spiritual high. It held through most of the fall as well, because I went to a fall retreat in October. But, starting at a new school and having to make new friends was very difficult. I thought it was going to be easy, but I was so, so wrong!
Thus, winter has been a real struggle because God has been testing my faith and patience.

One day, I’d had enough. I was sick of school, mad at God—I couldn’t stand it. I kept on asking, “Why me? God, why me?” I felt like I had no hope anymore, that no one loved me. Storming into my room sobbing, I noticed a letter on my bed. My sister had heard my outburst downstairs and had written me a quick note with James 1:2-4 written in it. “Consider it pure joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”

Notice how James wrote ‘when you encounter various trials,’ not ‘if you encounter various trials.’

Fall is a beautiful season, although everything is decaying. Dying—trials and tribulations—and becoming anew in Christ is a beautiful thing to our Heavenly Father. As Christians, we sometimes believe that we’re not allowed to have bad things happen to us. But troubles and hardships are actually blessings to mature us! Trials produce faith; without faith, we are nothing.



Well, you can imagine that this verse made me cry even more. But this time, I was crying tears of joy. For this verse reminded me that God loved me perfectly and I did have hope, amidst all the crazy and unfair things I was dealing with.



In January, I attended an all-day girls’ conference with my church. It was on a beautiful, sunny Saturday, and I have to admit, when I woke up and saw how nice it was for January, I wished I hadn’t signed up for this all-day excursion. I mean, come on, a Saturday? Really? Why was I doing this?



But I can’t even begin to tell you how much this beautiful Saturday in January changed my life. The theme of the conference was “what if there’s a bigger picture?” and, using a wonderful metaphor, the staff portrayed God as the Photographer and His children as the cameras. The pictures were the results of our lives. That, in itself, I thought was pretty darn awesome since I love photography. But the final message was even more incredible. The speaker challenged us to use our gifts that God blessed us with to further His Kingdom. He didn’t go to all the trouble of giving us gifts, only to have us turn around and bury them because of fear, selfishness, or incompetence. He gave them to us for His pleasure, to see us go out and do amazing things with them for His glory. Not ours.

So, later that night I asked God to reveal what He wanted me to do for with my gifts, how He wanted to use me to change others. I prayed and wrote and prayed some more. The next day, the idea came to me—start this blog! He wanted me to use my photography to spotlight His intricate creation to show teenage girls about inner beauty.

So, who would have thought? Winter, a beautiful thing? Well, I believe it, because this winter has matured and completed me and even made me beautiful in God’s eyes.

Mission Statement

Today, the world's perception of beauty is contorted in so many ways. Hair, make-up, figure, skin, clothes, and even talent skew the word "beauty" into an idol that only "the best" can touch. Sadly, we catch ourselves scrutinizing the girls on magazine covers in the grocery store, yearning to look like them. With their perfect skin, hair, make-up, and bodies, Hollywood stars make us completely insecure when it comes to our own images.

But let's take a reality check here. No one really looks like that! Sure, Hollywood's famous for their picture-perfect celebrities, but do you know what else they're known for? Photoshop.

Girls, we tear ourselves apart on a daily basis because we're unhappy with our appearances. Looking at the covers of Glamour and Seventeen usually brings our self-esteem down to zero percent.

But don't get me wrong --there's a bright side to this!

The Creator of the universe, our Heavenly Father, created us in His image. In Genesis 1, God deemed His creations "good." But you know what He said about man? About us? He said we were "very good." You are His ultimate creation! His crowning glory! God wouldn't have spent all that time creating you if He wasn't going to be satisfied with the result. In Ephesian's 2:10, it says that you are beautiful because you are God's masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for you to do.

And not only did He create you--He has a plan for your life, too! Jeremiah 29:11 states, " 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.' " Isn't that amazing to think about? He already has something wonderful, something amazing and beautiful and perfect, planned for your life. You just have to be ready, willing, to accept it.

The world may look at outward beauty, but God looks at inward beauty. He searches your heart and knows it, and longs for you to look at yourself the way He does. Why spend so much time trying to create a perfect outward image when you could be focusing on your inward self, the one that your Creator values higher than anything else?

My mission for this blog is to show girls of all ages that they are beautiful in God's eyes. That's all that really matters. You don't need Photoshop, plastic surgery, or the world's approval to be beautiful. A gentle and quiet spirit, the unfading beauty that it creates in your inner self--that is of great worth in God's sight.

"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." ~Proverbs 31:30