Dear Younger Self Project

This post marks the start of a new blog series we're calling the Dear Younger Self Project. The basis of this series is the question "What do you wish you had known in seventh grade?" For the next few weeks, or months, or however long God leads us to do this, you'll be reading anonymous letters that trusted friends and mentors have written to their younger selves. It is our prayer that in reading their self-advice, you will be blessed in a way only God can orchestrate. We're so excited about this new series--God has already been doing amazing things behind the scenes. So, without further ado, the first Dear Younger Self letter:

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Dear Younger Self (and probably Future Self since this seems to be a lesson I am bound to repeat over and over and over.....again....),

No matter how old you get and no matter what you choose to do in life, there will always be well-meaning people who want to offer you advice....from dating advice, to what you should do with your life, to where you should go to college, to who you should or should not marry, to when and how you should have your children (YES people do actually offer opinions on this...crazy, I know!), etc. Here's the thing though, no matter how successful they are, no matter how well educated they may be, no matter how much older they are than you, etc, YOU are the only person qualified to write your life's story because God made YOU the expert on YOU! He gave YOU a unique set of gifts and sent YOU out on a real life “Choose Your Own Adventure” type of story!

No matter what choices you make, your story is going to be one of those great novels that keeps people on the edge of their seats, not some trivial piece of formula fiction at best destined for tomorrow's compost pile, because life doesn't follow a predictable formula. You can't plug in all of the right variables and come out with the right outcome every time. Each person is different and there are countless variables that you cannot control for across individuals and circumstances. Even if you could, it's not about the last page. It's about the journey that brought you TO the last page...what you learned, how you loved, how you gave, the commitments you made, etc. The problem is that we like formulas. Formulas are safe. There is minimal risk and responsibility on our part for failure and criticism...that's why people write sequels....because they are willing to sacrifice the potential of creating something truly great for the laurels and accolades of others.

That's the real secret: In order to be able to write YOUR story from YOUR heart and not what you THINK other people want to read, you have to be willing to live with criticism. Criticism is never easy to hear, especially when it comes out of ignorance and thoughtlessness. However, God can use all things for good, and sometimes He uses these often unkind words to hone your heart into the heart of a lion. At the center of every woman who has a gentle and quiet spirit, there must exist the heart of a lion, that is willing to courageously stand firm and hold fast to what she believes is right...no matter what. Otherwise, she risks becoming a doormat. At some point, you have to recognize that it is well worth the risk of failure and criticism to go out and live the life God created YOU to live and that the only true measure of your success is when you are measuring it against YOUR rubric and not someone else's.

"God doesn't want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible." 2 Timothy 1:7 (The Message)